Jokes of the Day
Fishing on the Job
My son, Scott, an insurance broker in Florida, loves ocean fishing and takes his cell phone along on the boat. One morning, we were drifting about ten miles offshore as Scott discussed business on the phone.
Suddenly, his rod bent double and the reel screamed as line poured off the spool. Scott was master of the situation.
“Pardon me,” he told his customer calmly. “I have a call on another line.”
A Moon Funny
Two airheads in California are sitting outside on a cool, clear evening, looking at the moon and talking.
One asks: “Which do you think is farther away … Florida or the moon?”
The other replies (with eye-roll): “Hellooooooooooo! Can you see Florida from here??”
A driver was pulled over for speeding by a police officer. As the officer was writing the ticket, she noticed several swords in the car.
“What are those for?” she asked.
“I’m a juggler,” the man replied. “I use those in my act.”
“Well, show me,” the officer requested.
So he got out the swords and started juggling them: first three, then more, finally seven at one time, overhand, underhand, behind the back, putting on a dazzling show and amazing the officer.
As another car passed by, the driver did a double take looking at the cop and the juggler, and said, “My! That’s one tough sobriety test!”
Walk On Water
Dallas heard that his father, grandfather and great-grandfather had all walked on water on their 21st birthdays.
So, on his 21st birthday, Dallas and his big brother Damon, headed out to the lake. “If they did it, I can too!” he insisted.
When Dallas and Damon arrived at the lake, they rented a canoe and began paddling. When they got to the middle of the lake, Dallas stepped off of the side of the boat… and nearly drowned.
Furious and somewhat embarrassed, he and Damon headed for home.
When Dallas arrived back at the family home, he asked his grandmother for an explanation. “Grandma, why can’t I walk on water like my father, and his father, and his father before him?”
His sweet old grandmother took Dallas by the hand, looked into his eyes, and explained, “That’s because your father, grandfather, and great-grandfather were born in January, You were born in June, dear.”
CE Classes in 2018
See the new schedule at https://www.svmps.com/ce-classes/
Three New Classes for 2018!
-Best Practices for Biohazard Cleaning
Cleaning biohazard can be a challenge in
your clients home or business. You will see
unique approaches to removing body fluids
of all kinds.
-Ethics: What is your Code?
A personal approach to your ethics. Each
class member will leave the session with
their own code on a displayable frame.
-Surviving a Disaster in Your Business
How will your office or clients survive if
a disaster hit them? Real life examples and
practical tools to prepare.
ServiceMaster Gives Back
Our franchise was the Ken Hanson Award Winner for their generosity by ServiceMaster Brands. With over one-half million dollars in donations, organizations we donate to include: American Heart Association, American Red Cross, Habitat for Humanity, Coaches vs. Cancer, Operation Christmas Child, Tabitha’s Heart, the YMCA and more.
$100/Day Christmas Giveaway by Fred McGuire
For several days in December, I stopped by many of your offices to enter you in a contest. Of those I greeted each day I drew a winner. Winners were given a $100 MasterCard! This gift is our way of saying “Thanks” for your business this year.
But there was twist. Winners need to “pay-it-forward” to bless someone in need. On our website are more photos of the winner and their chosen recipient. (click here)
Need to report a claim? Call someone you know.
If you have a claim, question or concern, call me on my cell phone for easy response. Fred McGuire (320) 333-5383
Now a Word – from our Customers
The following are quotes from our recent customers:
- “Very nice and easy to talk to. If they didn’t know the answer they called someone who did.”
- “The manager was incredibly respectful, responsive and helpful, beyond his paid scope.”
- “The gentleman that came to asses my water damage was very knowledgeable and friendly. He was helpful in explaining things to me in a way I could understand easily.”
Movie to Watch
The Investigator (free to watch on YouTube at https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-pRM2d0fqVo)
A veteran police detective becomes a criminal justice teacher and baseball coach at a local high school, leading him to the most important investigation of his life. Inspired by true events. Written by Ray Romano’s (Everybody Loves Raymond) brother Richard Romano.
Book to Read
The Wright Brothers by David McCullough
The #1 New York Times bestseller from David McCullough, two-time winner of the Pulitzer Prize—the dramatic story-behind-the-story about the courageous brothers who taught the world how to fly—Wilbur and Orville Wright.
He draws on the extensive Wright family papers to profile not only the brothers but their sister, Katharine, without whom things might well have gone differently for them. Essential reading, this is “a story of timeless importance, told with uncommon empathy and fluency…about what might be the most astonishing feat mankind has ever accomplished.
ServiceMaster provides disaster restoration and cleaning services in Minnesota.